Brookside

things I've realized.

2011-01-25T20:24:00.000-08:00

one of the worst things to think about is realizing things about yourself, thinking, why? why was I scared to think that that just might be one of my characteristics. is it not recognizing that your scared, or that you don't want to face what yourself might be, seeing yourself as someone you're not used to seeing yourself as? and then one day it slapps you in the face. I'm not talking about overcoming weaknesses, but strengths, ,or things you want to do, or accomplish, something that hasn't been wegded into your view, so you're not able to recognize your own sight. but something that has almost helped create you. the thing I hate facing after that, is no one recognizes it. you feel like you've just overcome one of your biggest mountains, and people didn't even see it. I know that lots of times its better to do things without people seeing it, but I feel like I've just started to see through the fog, I feel like it was for nothing. right now, I'm working on breaking out, becoming me, and even more so, realizing some of my child hood dreams as dreams that I still have in the present, and I'm not even recognized for them. someone else is, and because they are, you feel like people see you as unoriginal, when you know thats not true, because you are not that person, you don't have the same reasons they do. too ofthen I feel like since there are so many siblings before me, that there isn't anything to regocnize anything different, because the other siblings took them all. thats not true, but I feel like that. if I told someone that I wanted to go to a certain place, it wouldn't mean a thing. if I told someone I thought something that was incredible, they wouldn't remember it. usually there is something about ones personalitly that people recognize, or notice or remember, but I'm not, I know I'm not. to some people yes, and thats something I'll allways appreciate that.

MY LATEST ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!

2010-10-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

well recently, we all went to Philli. to visit Prairie and Larry for Calvins baptism. it was pretty special, and I'm so proud of Calvin. he asked mom to give a talk on baptism. I wish you all could have heard it, it was really good. He asked his grandma Daugherty to give a talk on the Holy gohst, it was also really good. I got to give the closing prayer, which was really special to me, because I don't really get asked to do something cool like that. dad and larrys sister bore they're testimonys.
when we went sight seeing, we saw the outside of Betsy Ross's house. it was closed so sadly we couldn't go in. we also went the visitors center. we got to see the liberty bell. and what was really cool was going to the church that our ancestor Jacob Broom was buried. he was one of the signers of the Constitution. (so cool) we also ran up the ROCKY steps. it was way cool and when we got there I couldn't help but think of Joe (pearce) because he'd allways mention Rocky. so I'm gonna send him some pictures. and one of my favorites, I bought a shot glass. I know thats terrible, but I love shot glasses. :) they're so little.
and also something I think is awsome is that Prairies house is over 2 hundred years old. I know
she doesn't enjoy living there, but the actual idea is sooo cool. can you emagine the people in that house. red coats could have been there. ransacking the place. or the design in the windows. the whole idea is just so cool to me. and my first thought when I went in her basement was. WINE CELLER. lol no but, for all we know, someone could have smuggled some of the founding fathers down there when they were being hunted by red coats.
but if I had to live there in this day and age, I think I'd fall over and die. I cannot even emagine living in such a cramped space. no open fields, not being able to hardly even be able to see the stars at night. or the fresh night air smell, only exaust and creepers down allys. I wouldn't be able to see the foggy mist over a green field or feel the clean morning dew on the grass. or after it rains I wouldn't have the pleasure of the good rich earthy smell, night country air, bonfire and cow manure. to some I know that would smell discusting, but I'd wear it as perfume any day. not a strong cow manure, but enough.
it really makes me gtratfull for where I live and the freedom I've had growing up in good open spaces.

my reason

2010-10-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

I don't know if its because I lack confidence, I don't know if its because I don't want to feel disapointed if I played a song for some one that I wrote, and felt lame if they don't like it. But something I'm certain of is that, when I write songs, its because I've found a way to put certain thoughts into certain phrases, or emotions that have no other way that I can express. I can't allways put things to music, allthough I'd really like to, but when I can, I try and match it the best way that I can to how I feel about something. its an outlet to traped thoughts and feelings that I don't know how to express. so when I don't play a song for someone, its only because thoes songs are special, and I feel vulnerable when I play them for someone who I'm uncertain of. I play them for people I feel close to, or someone whom I trust will understand. so when I'm in a situation of someone building up their opinion of a song I've played for them, and telling me to play for someone I may not know so well, I feel uncomfortable, because those songs express and represent me. and I have a hard time being myself around just anybody. so I feel like I'd be criticized for showing real thoughts, and my personality. thats the best way that I can explain why. I don't want to feel shredded by people's opinion. even though I thrive off of opinion from people who I ask what they think when I've just started, or just finished writing a song.

2010-06-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

hahaha, isn't this funny. its been a whole since girls camp last year, I've only had this blog for over a year, and I still only have about 6 posts. "thats what you'd call ironic". (guess what its from) so this year for ward girls camp we are actually going to go camping instead of to an RV park out in the middle of no where. so thus will be my first time to truly camp, well not really, but its a start. hahaa. McKenna, Calli and Dani and I are going to stay in a 6 person tent like last year. and if it keeps raining we'll just play indoor tent games and talk about everything under the sun and play in the rain.
we're gonna decorate T-shirts and eat junkfood. :) what a great way to start off summer.
I couldn't ask for a better group of friends than those 3, not including siblings and cousins.
speaking of which, all four of us went to the most amazing concert I can emagine. sons of sylvia and craig Morgan with the final finalle with CARRIE UNDERWOOD!!!!!!!! its one of those things that goes down as top most amazing things that happened list. it was a blast and I bought a poster. I figured since I don't usualy get posters and I'm not obbsesive plus its my second concert ( my first was with Jazie <3, and it was josh turner and I still love it.) and it is carrie underwood and I probly won't get lots of others and it was big and it was only ten dollars........hhahaaa and so on. :)
its been a great way to start off my summer.

2010-02-09T21:31:00.000-08:00

I'm So close to be able to get to be able to take Drivers Ed. :) SWEET!!!!!!
it'll probably be in Meridean and that way it will only take two weeks instead of 4-6
I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooy I'm a giant scardy!

2009-10-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with me. If any thing comes up that I wanna do, I freak out! This will be the 3rd year of basketball that I've done and I'm nervouse as all get about just going to open gym. I know I'm not that great of a player, but I would HATE to be the one who caused the team to lose that one point that could've made the difference in a victory. It also bugs me a whole ton when I practice practice practice and I get worse. Its like when I first start shooting, I can make some shots but after one practice I barely hit the rim! Every time before a game I'm as nervouse as a cot fish! I panick and start forgetting the plays! I seem to only be able to play one part of a play when others could do any position of the play and I get confused with one wrong move. I call that pitiful! I just hate not being able to catch on with techniques and moves. Plus I don't have much time to practice. I AllWAYS get a knot in my stomache :(

2009-08-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

ok so one day just after the reunion I was looking for bonnie and doing little odd jobs. so I went out to look for bonn and I hear my cat mewing. I thought she was on top of the roof and figured she would just come down evenually. but bonn comes up tp me and said she had been looking for her for like twenty min.s becuase she was mewing but bonnie could figure out where she was. so we realized as we stood on the front porch that she had somehow amazingly gotton inbetween the the roof and ceiling out side, if that even makes sence. so I didn't have time to deal with it. she had got in she could get herself out. so I went swimming with my buddies. when I got back I found Bailey Calvin spencer and Braden all waiting and wanting to show me something. I go in the garage and find my cat with two kittens. HOW could she have kittens?? she just had kittens!! so she moves them to a bush and when I come to check on her she had two MORE kittens. so I've almost thought about calling her HORR KITTY. (HEE) what do you guys thing.?

aimee nan and I

2009-06-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

aunt kattie and uncle shan left for millie's reception in virginia from a thursday to a tuesday. nani and aimee and I had the funnest time. we ate like heck, but it was soo good. we also went to church and stayed up till 3 A.M every night. it was awesome. I hope every person can get friends like us three. we know each other backwards and forwards. side ways and longways. inside out. its great.

2009-06-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

I finally get to start guitar lessons. its at Grives music store in Ontario. I get to go on wednesdays at 4P.M. I have also had an increase of cats and this time I'm determined to get them all fixed. so if any one wants any you canget one.

ward girls camp

2009-06-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

holy cow!!!!!!!!! I just had the most funnest experience, that I've had in a long time. we had a ward girls camp and me and my buddies did everything. we went swimming at Givens hot springs and we piged out on junk food while staying up late to like 3:30. it was pretty awsome especially when you have 4 or 5 rolls of toilet paper to sasbatage with and a big bottle of mohawk jell to spike your hair all crazy just for fun. sister Hail is now the new YM president and she is so awsome and funny. its so awsome when you don't have to stress out and just go have fun.

Summer Plans

2009-04-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what I'm doing or how to do this, but I'm going to give it a try. I'm so stinking excited to get out school in five weeks though!!
I'm hoping to take some serious Guitar lessons to hone my wicked skills!
As for jobs, it's a balance of earning and saving money, and spending it and having fun- How do I decide!?